meditatio at the water's edge

I've been reading Eugene Peterson's "Working the Angles" lately, and some things he said about Sabbath helped me put into words some things I think God has been trying to get through to me lately. Jumping off Peterson's idea of Sabbath as praying and playing, here's what I wrote today.

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Sabbath is about recognizing the fact that your life is completed in Christ. That, in Christ, you are complete. You are whole, and you do not NEED to keep trying to 'become.'

Somehow we have come to exalt anxiety. We are constantly trying to impress people by demonstrating that we are busy--that we are producing--and thus, that we are useful. Anxious people are important people. People who have great concerns are 'making a difference.' But I'm not so sure that all this anxiety and busyness is a mark of godliness. Jesus said not to be anxious. Jesus himself seemed to be very relaxed about things.

I believe that the peace that Jesus exhibited was the result of the fact that he lived the Sabbath. He knew what it was to live a life of wholeness. So he could play and pray his way through life. He could share in the wedding party and even contribute to the supply of wine. I don't ever remember Jesus going around telling people, "Yeah, I've been really busy--healing people, walking on water, feeding thousands."

Hey Jesus, how's your ministry? "Oh, you know, staying busy." Nope, I never read Jesus saying anything remotely like that. But I hear it so often from pastor-types.

I hate that answer most of all when it comes out of my mouth. It is, to me, a condemnation; a sign that I have got myself to involved with doing God's work for him (or at least trying to give that impression).

But what I must come to realize is that I am really not as necessary as I think I am. Sabbath-keeping reminds me of this. If I cannot stop from my work enough to be quiet and listen to God and to my wife, then I am trying to be something I was never created to be--a god.

Praying and playing teach me that I can do things that are, to all appearances, useless, and it may be the most spiritual thing I do all week. In praying, I take the time to bend my heart toward God in silence and listen. In playing, I learn to lay back in the joy and freedom that come with attending to the One Necessary Thing.

In praying, I can stop trying to impose my will on the world around me and allow God to impose His on me. In playing I learn to receive the good gifts of God; to live in the peace that comes in knowing I am God's beloved child.

I am convinced I don't play enough. And I know I certainly don't pray enough. And by 'don't pray enough', of course, I do not mean that I don't say enough words to God or speak to Him often enough. I mean that I don't listen enough. I don't sit silently before God enough to let my life come under the careful eye of the Great Physician. No, instead I busy myself with doing 'great' and 'significant' things. Instead, I fill my ears with music and my time with distractions.

And when I say I don’t' play enough, I mean I don't play enough. I'm not talking about extreme sports or entertainments. I'm talking about enjoying the life God has given me. I'm talking about dancing and singing like we all used to do when we were kids and weren't so afraid of what other people might think of us. No, I'm not talking about the respectable play that many of us do. I'm talking about the care-free (anxiety-free) play that appears foolish to most people. I'm talking about the play that you can have when you have been stripped of all pretense and worry. I don't do these things enough.

So I wonder if I really do honor the Sabbath. Most of the time, I think that I do not. It's easy to 'go to church' (twice?) and refrain from shopping of Sundays, and call it Sabbath-keeping. But I know better. I know that those have little to do with Sabbath-keeping. Besides, for me 'Going to church' means 'going to work.' It is the most stress-filled day of the week for me (and I am not alone!).

So how can I keep the Sabbath? I need the help of others. I need people to create space where I am completely unnecessary. I need people to send me to a place of silence and solitude and not ask me 'how did it go?" (which comes off as "What did you get out of it" and "Was it productive?")

How can you keep the Sabbath? I think first you have to recognize that it is something you need--that it is something that is good for you. And then not to kill it by becoming its servant. Jesus said that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So don't get upset if our Sabbath is interrupted--unless interruptions become the rule rather than the rare exception.

Another thing you can do is to ask yourself why you do the things you do Why do you work the number of hours you do? Is it to provide for your family? Good. Is it to afford a 'more comfortable' lifestyle? That may not be so good.

But above all, follow the simple instruction of Jesus to "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." Pursue a listening relationship with God. Close your mouth, open your ears, and open your heart to the (sometimes painful but always good) transforming work of the Spirit of God. Sabbath is ultimately about relationship. It is about living out of a right relationship with God. By that I do not mean the 'forgiven, peace treaty with God' right relationship (as important as that is). I mean recognizing that God is God and you, as much as you like to think of yourself as if you were, are not.

I remember riding in our family van with my dad. I was nine and we were headed to Dallas, Texas to visit some of my parents' friends. I slept and played and listened to music all the way down. I was never concerned with trying to plan out our route. I never tried to wrestle the wheel away from my dad. I never even entertained the ridiculous idea that the trip depended on me. I simply played and slept all the way to Dallas with complete confidence in my dad and his ability to navigate the highways and get us there. I was useless on that trip. I was completely unnecessary. But I saw it snow in Dallas on the day after Christmas, and it was beautiful.

If I am walking with God, then I can afford to be honest with myself about how unnecessary I am. And I can know that unnecessary does not equal worthless. It simply means that I live with an appropriate smallness. God is alive and present and at work all over the world around me. Amazingly He invites me to join him in what he's up to. And that is really not too hard for me to accept (it plays to my temptation to be useful). But what I find most amazing is that he invites me to stop doing and just sit and play and listen and watch what he's doing. That's Sabbath. To stop your doing long enough to listen and see what God's up to around you and within you, and then to laugh and play and live because what He's up to is so indescribably beautiful.