meditatio at the water's edge

Becoming mature is a frightening thing because it requires us to be responsible for others. To be mature involves selflessness, and this is a hard thing for us to learn.

Honestly, I can be pretty selfish—we all can be—but I have found that being selfish only shrinks my life. I have also found that when I am selfless, my life expands and becomes more beautiful.

Selflessness is a difficult thing because we must trust ourselves to other people. Most people today have a hard time trusting others. We might say that there is good reason, but the path of distrust is the way of cowardice. It is, in truth, a very selfish thing. “Protect the self!” is the cry of the person who cannot trust others. Never taking the risk of trusting someone means you will never be let down, but neither will you have a chance to find someone trustworthy.

The selfless person risks being hurt and let down every day. The selfless person gives people the opportunity to come through or fail—to love or reject them. The selfless person does not try to manage pain by insulating oneself from others, but instead, forgives and seeks the path of healing and peace—a path that passes through pain and out the other side.

This may be heavy stuff, but I really believe it is the better way to live—it really is the “easy yoke” that Jesus talked about. Think about it. Is it really an easy thing to do to live without trusting people? Is it really easy to be selfish? I don’t think so. I think being selfish is the hard and heavy load. Selfishness burdens us with anxiety, frustration, anger, bitterness, and contempt when we don’t get what we want. Not only are such things dangerous to our physical health, they are destructive to our souls.

So let’s continue to learn how to live selflessly (die to self) by following the Master. Let’s let go of that hard and heavy path of selfishness, and progress in maturity of trust, forgiveness, and love.