meditatio at the water's edge

Just being Real...
As we talk about kingdom, heaven, and life, I was reminded of an e-mail I got from a friend a month ago. She is an American who I call Mega; she is currently living in Greece as she is involved with YWAM.

She wrote: One evening while we were together, Theodore told me that he felt like there was a part of me that I was holding back, a side of me they hadn't seen from me or that I wasn't letting them see. That statement really made me think about myself, about the person I am, about the person I show to other people. I've always been mindful of being respectable, of being careful not to offend others or make a spectacle of myself (usually). And why? Because I care about what others think of me. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but it can be sometimes if I care too much and act in ways that aren't true to myself. I wonder if I have unknowingly lost a part of who God has made me in my endeavors to be respectable. Have I hidden a part of God’s original design because I fear what others might think? Do I miss out on great moments in life because I’m scared of looking silly? Though I haven’t yet figured it all out in my head and my heart with God, if I am truly honest I’m afraid my answer to those two questions might be yes.