The Problem with Me

I live in a culture that is obsessed with me. Well, thankfully, not me personally, but with each individual 'me'. Religion is 'my' religion. Faith is 'my' faith. I have 'my' free will. I have 'my' right to choose what is good for 'me'.

The problem with 'me' is that 'I' am not really the individual I imagine myself to be. Too many of us think and speak of the Christian life, mission, and salvation in these individualistic terms.

This plays out in some very strange ideas and language concerning salvation. One idea that has really bothered my recently is the idea that "Even if I was the ONLY person who had ever sinned, Jesus would have still died for me."

Huh?

The idea is fundamentally flawed for several reasons. First, it ignores the extensive results of sin. 'I' assume that 'my' sin only affects 'me'. The reality is that sin is never limited in its disastrous effects to one person.

The problem with 'me' is that 'I' think my sin doesn't affect other people. Here, I am talking about my secret sins--sins that I believe to be hidden from the awareness of others. The problem is that sin, whether or not it is apparent to others or not, impacts all my relationships.

Secondly, it ignores the corporate nature of relationship. You and I are not saved solely for our own good. We are saved for the good of others.

The problem with 'me' is that 'I' think 'my' relationship with God is solely a personal thing. It is simply another compartment of 'my' life. This, however, is an error in 'my' approach to life. 'My' relationship with God is not just one compartment of my larger life. It is the fundamental characteristic of 'my' entire being. It is therefore interconnected with every relationship I have--to other human beings, and to the rest of Creation.

It is this fundamental interconnectedness that undermines the assumptions made in the idea that "even if I was the only one...." It is really non-sensical to say things like that. The fact is that I am NOT the only one.

But there are more problems with 'me'.

Another problem with 'me' is that 'I' keep trying to be God. But, to place 'my' confidence in Jesus means to lay aside 'my' ideas about what is good and wise and right until 'my' ideas about what is good and wise and right align with what God has said is good and wise and right.

Another problem with 'me' is that 'I' keep trying to acquire. But to place 'my' confidence in Jesus means that I can no longer buy into the ideas that are being pounded into me every time I see a Mitsubishi commercial or a Dell commercial, or Coor's Light commercial. I need to stop seeing myself as a consumer.

How will I need to start seeing myself? I resist giving it a metaphor, but I know I will not see myself as one who consumes. I will need to rlate to the world around me in more creative ways and fewer consumptive ways. People will no longer be there to serve my interests in some way--even to make me feel better about myself by serving them. Creation will not be understood as something to be exploited, but a gift to be cared for and nurtured.

Another problematic statement is the suggestion that Jesus was thinking of 'me' when he was dying on the cross. Perhaps he was. But it just sounds so narcissistic to say it. Do we really need such romantic ideas to place our confidence in what Jesus did in his life, death and resurrection? I certainly hope not. I don't even think it is helpful for us to think like that.

What ‘I’ really need is to understand that ‘I’ am joining up with something that is already going on—something bigger than ‘me’.

This makes me think of another problematic idea that is circulating; the idea that, "Everything that has happened has been leading up to 'me.'“ I suppose the people who say this have in mind the passage from Hebrews 11 and 12:1-3, but they make the mistake of reading it through the individualistic lenses of our culture. It was not all for 'me.' The story is not even about 'me'. It is something that I can now join up with, but it has been going on without me since the dawn of creation, and it will continue with or without me.

I think all these self-centered ideas about salvation, mission, and the Christian life only serve to fill us with all sorts of anxieties. Am 'I' saved? What is God's plan for 'my' life? Did I miss God's 'primary plan' for 'my' life and now must I settle for God's 'plan B' (or plan C, D, E, etc.)? These things are not helpful to us individually or corporately.

Now, I do not want to ignore the reality that we do have individuality. We do, and we must respect that. However, we must see our individual selves in the context of something larger than ourselves. I did not get here on my own, and I will not get anywhere on my own. I must always understand myself as a person in community. Therefore, I am necessarily responsible to live, think, speak, and act in ways that respect community.

So when we talk about salvation, we must not get caught up in thinking only of 'my' salvation ("I'm saved", etc), but in 'our' salvation.

What does this mean? I am becoming increasingly convinced that this will mean we must live in ways that demonstrate we are a 'saved people.' We will need to be community as God intended it. Honesty, selfless love, forgiveness, generosity, servanthood; these things will be hallmarks of our lives together.

Yet this challenges the ways ‘I’ arrange 'my' life. My life is no longer ‘my’ life. I will now lay down my agenda for others around me. But ‘I’ am very uncomfortable with that because it might ruin ‘my’ summer vacation plans. It might ruin ‘my’ 401K. It might ruin ‘my’ movie night!

That’s the problem with ‘me’.

I'm considering the idea of submitting something I wrote to theooze.com or next-wave.org ...but I would like to get some of your feedback first. You can read the article at my personal blog...click here. Then shoot me an email and let me know what you think.

Here's an excerpt...
"My great-grandparents on my mother’s side came to the United States from the Netherlands in the early years of the 20th century. My father’s side is more messy, genealogically speaking. I think they came over from Ohio. Well, that’s as much as I was ever told. I believe the name McClure comes from Ireland, but I’ve also been told it was Scotland. Regardless, the bloodlines are thin, causing me to refer to myself as half Dutch and half “31 Flavors” (ala, Baskin Robbins, the ice cream people).

All that is to say that I am a white guy living in North America. More than my skin color and ethnic background (muddled as it may be), I am an apprentice of Jesus of Nazareth, the Messiah. Being an apprentice of Jesus is increasingly messing up my life. I keep running into questions about how I should live in this materialistic, pluralistic, narcissistic culture of 21st Century U.S. America.

I wonder how I should think about people who I was always taught were heroes (Columbus, Pizzaro, etc.). I am compelled to consider the unmentionable atrocities done to people under the banner of the cross. I am compelled to consider how Jesus was perceived by the Mayans, Aztecs, Incas, and the other extinguished tribes we were never taught about in school. How should we celebrate Columbus and the rest of the explorers and ‘conquistadores’? How would I think of Columbus Day if I were a Sioux or Nez Perce?"

I read this recently from Lesslie Newbigin's "The Gospel in a Pluralist Society":
"This new reality(the result of the work of Messiah), this new presence (the mighty Spirit of God) creates a moment of crisis wherever it appears. It provokes questions which call for answers and which, if the true answer is not accepted, lead to false answers. This happens where there is a community whose members are deeply rooted in Christ as their absolute Lord and Savior. Where there is such a community, there will be a challenge by word and behavior to the ruling powers. As a result there will be conflict and suffering for the Church. Out of that conflict and suffering will arise the questioning which the world puts to the Church. This is why St. Paul in his letters does not find it necessary to urge his readers to be active in evangelism but does find it necessary to warn them against any compromise with the rulers of this age....That is why, according to Luke's account, he (Jesus) told them that it would be the coming of the Holy Spirit that would make them witnesses, because the Spirit is the presence in foretaste of the kingdom."

All that is to say that when the Church spends so much energy on what we usually call "evangelism" and so little energy on developing lives that are immersed in the life of the Spirit (which primarily involves putting on the character of Jesus Christ), it undermines the very power for witness it needs to proclaim the good news.

It is increasingly becoming my conviction that if we focus our efforts on putting on the character of Jesus Christ (both individually and collectively) the "outreach" will flow out from who we are instead of some artificial(?) attempt to 'convince someone else that we are right and they are wrong.' It will not be our words that convince them. It will not be our words alone that prove our orthodoxy. It will be our lives, lived under the ruling and reigning of God and reflecting the character of Christ that will convince others that this "Way" is good and wise and right.

In addition to this, it is increasingly becoming my conviction that we must become less anxious about 'converting' people while at the same time becoming more intentional about living lives that proclaim the good news about the kingdom of God. We must become less anxious because ultimately, it is the Spirit of Jesus that draws people into the life of God--and that means that God is and has been at work in ways and times that we may never comprehend.

We must become more intentional about how we live our lives because right now, honestly, most of our lives do not provide a compelling alternative to the people 'out there'. Perhaps our best efforts at 'evangelism' will be for us to simply live as strangers and aliens to the systems and values of our culture, thus providing a compelling alternative "Way" of life. What will this look like? It will not look like weird clothes, weird words, or weird music. It will look like weird generosity that gives without expecting to be repayed. It will look like weird love that never gives up, is not proud, is not rude, is not self seeking... It will look like weird peace that is actually able to "rest" and take a true Sabbath (rather than the truly weird ideas about Sabbath that most people around here have).

I am convinced that that is the direction in which we must move or risk losing (or continuing to lose) our power for witness in our culture.

For those of you who were interested in reading sermons, here is one I wrote on Judges 4 for this past Sunday. You can read it here.

I want to respond to what Randy wrote yesterday. It is very important we have a right understanding of God. Theology is important. But the eternal kind of life is not just a matter of ideas or propositional statements. It is foremost a matter of character. Now, certainly bad theology can lead to bad character (for instance, if I believe God is the kind of deity who wants me to kill my enemies, then I will relate to my enemies very differently than if I believe God is the kind of deity who wants me to love them).

I think what Randy was getting at is the idea that the ONLY thing that matters is whether or not we share a common cognitive assent (mental agreement) to certain theories about God. If our character is not shaped into the likeness of God, it matters little what we know about God.

Thomas a Kempis wrote, "What good does it do to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity? Indeed it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God. I would rather feel contrition than know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without grace and the love of God? Vanity of vanities and all is vanity, except to love God and serve Him alone."

Joel and I had a chance to hear John Ortberg speak this week. In light of the whole catholic scandal, he mentioned how pastors are getting into so much trouble these days. He also noted that these problems are nearly always the result of character issues rather than theological issues.

Of course, that was not breaking news, but it makes me ask the question: Maybe we have had it all wrong as pastors. Maybe following Christ is all about character and has nearly nothing to do with "right" theology? Paul tells young Christ followers to imitate him... not Christ... but him! If we see ourselves in the same way, would our own character correctly take center stage? Instead, our center stage is a podium and well crafted sermon that tells people about a "right" understanding of God - generally at the expense of other Christ followers... a.k.a. Christian brothers and sisters.

So, let us allow the Spirit to mold us into imitators that dare to be imitated!

If you'd like to read more of my rantings on money and the church ... like this... "I long to see the day when our churches are known as 'those strange people who give to other people without expecting to be repayed.'"
then click here.

I was surfing some blogs and noticed several people quoting Thomas Merton. If you haven't read any of his stuff, you really should go to a good bookstore and buy one of his little books like "Thoughts in Solitude," "Life and Holiness," or "No Man Is an Island".

But let me also mention Henri Nouwen. He is another of my favorite authors who really helped my inner life. Read his "Way of the Heart," "Life of the Beloved," or "Here and Now." They'll mess you up in a good way.

We pause to pray for Kristi's family this morning...Grandpa Ed passed away last week. What a great family, though. It was really clear to me that they are really tight and will help each other though it.

We had a pretty good time last night talking about 'where we are at' with Water's Edge. Some pretty common struggles, I think. Not being understood...frustrations from parents...and even the fact that we see this group as our church. I was really thankful for everyone who was so honest about stuff.

And for those of you who didn't catch my sarcasm...I do NOT possess all knowledge...the belief statement is NOT perfect in every imaginable way. (I just hope people don't think I'm being serious...)

For those of you who like to read sermons (you freaks) here's one I wrote for tomorrow... click here

Meanwhile, @ Water's Edge, we will be living through Psalm 1 this Sunday night...We'll be doing a little exercise based on Andrew Jones' Tree by the River exercise

I'm really excited about some of the creative worship stuff we will be doing in the coming months. I am mostly excited about it because it is going to be so much more participatory and dialogical.

I just picked up some good reading at Baker's Books used bookstore (you have to love living in Grand Rapids)...So I'll be reading some Barth, some Kierkegaard, some Tom Wright, and some stuff by Meister Eckhart. If you want a good list of books to see where I've been in my reading and thinking over the past year and a half, go here.

That's enough. Good night.

first things first...birthdays...Randy's was June 5...Birthdays are a time when we get to tell people that we are glad that they exist. We say thank you to God for creating you, not because you benefit us in any way--not because of economics--but simply because you are you, and because God decided that it would be good to make you. Now that we know your birthday, Randy, we can celebrate better next year.


Now, about gifts...gifts are the reversal of pride. The breathtaking thing about grace is that we can't take it--we can only receive it. Our alternate stories begin when we, like Adam and Eve, pride-fully take for ourselves that which has been wisely forbidden. We put ourselves in the place of God and so we live in an alternate story--ouside the garden. The way back in, however, is not found in taking or making a way for ourselves, but in receiving. This receiving undoes all our pride as we cannot claim any credit for taking it or making it.

It takes humility to receive a gift, and too many of us do not know how to receive gifts. We turn it into an economy...when we are given a gift, we usually feel obligated to repay. So we become anxious about evening the score. This is not receiving, but taking...a fair exchange. But there is no fair exchange in grace. We are given a gift that may only be recieved..and this receiving only happens when pride has been undone--no more taking, no more making things even, no more "fair exchanges".

You will know how to receive when you no longer feel the compulsion to even the score. You can simply and humbly live in gratitude.

Read this from Sister Betty at praythenews...

"What Faith is Like…..
Life is a mystery, and faith in God asks a lot of us. It is as though we are ice-fishing on a little bench not far from shore, and God asks for the fish we have caught. We give. Then God asks for the fishing line, and we give that over too. When God asks for the bench we are sitting on, we find ourselves standing on the ice, thinking that we have given all. Then we hear a kind of cracking sound as the ice we are standing on begins to break away and we find ourselves adrift. Going with trust into that open sea of God's way for us; that's faith."

I watched a PBS bit on the Pope last night, and I can't help but wonder why so many protestants think the Roman Catholic Church is evil. Here is a guy who is able to stand up even to his own people (especially American Catholics) and say, "You know, you Americans are doing some pretty evil things." I think the Pope is an amazing person, and I think it is the height of arrogance to suggest that the Pope is antichrist. (If you haven't ever heard that, there are many protestants who firmly believe it). Do I agree with the Pope on particular matters of doctrine? No. But that does not make John Paul II the devil. Perhaps it makes me the devil. I hope for a day when American Christians will all find the humility of Christ within their hearts. Until then, I will intend for it to be a reality in my heart.

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In C.S.Lewis' Screwtape Letters (an imaginary correspondence between Screwtape, a senior devil and his apprentice nephew Wormwood), we find Screwtape giving his nephew this advice, "Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause [the Devil's cause] is never more in danger than when a human,, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will [God's will], looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

In the face of all the dramatic impressions of spiritual warfare, there is perhaps no greater weapon against evil than simple obedience to God's direction, even when we might desire to follow another path. Let's live in God's story today. Let's be the cooperative friends of Jesus. Let's watch God change the world beginning with ourselves.

The baptized life? Today it does look like my life. I am not always so sure, but today, in the midst of the regular things of any ordinary day, I have seen God clearly. A baptized life means learning how to love Christ followers from the ends of the earth. It means embracing them as brothers and sisters even thought their understanding of baptism, communion, or church order are different. It means embracing them with a holy kiss in the midst of theological confusion. It means getting an e-mail this morning from an Eastern Orthodox guy in the northwestern part of the United States, and it begins, "Hello Randy... Christ Is Risen." And tears swell in my eyes as I realize that my God is sooooo much bigger than the Calvisist theolgy that was passed along through my grandparents and parents. While much of it is good, it is not the whole picture... or that would be a small picture of an amazing God.

Sure, I keep sinning. I often don't try. I often don't want to. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I am downright selfish. Still, God has taken me and emersed me in his reality. This is the baptised life. And I reply back to to James, the Eastern Orthodox guy, He Is Risen Indeed! And I will call him a friend even though we have never met, and I begin to understand what Christ meant when he prayed that we would be one as He is one with the Father and Spirit.

Blogging... what a strange word! Last night I was reading Jason Evans blog - Jason has become a friend over the past month as we connnected at Seed Stories and Search Party - and I found myself loving his blog from Friday.

He wrote "...we need to redefine what it means to be a Christian. Personally, I have a real hard time with that word. I don't like calling myself a Christian many times. Not because I'm ashamed of my faith, I'm not, but because of the people I feel I don't share the same spirituality with that use that term. Like people that could stand at a young, gay man's funeral with a "God Hates Fags" sign, or the person that punches out a Muslim in "the name of Christianity and the American way." Why I would I want to be clustered with people that are known more for their hate than love? I'M A FOLLOWER OF JESUS CHRIST, but I don't know if I want to be a Christian anymore."