If you haven't stumbled across an artist by the name of Al For, you really need to look at his work. It is visually stunning and very thought provoking--what Christian art should be. Check it out at http://www.al-for.com/index.html.

"Without dread, without the disquieting capacity to see and to repudiate the idolatry of devout ideas and imaginings, man would remain content with himself and with his 'inner life' in meditiation, in liturgy or in both. Without dread, the Christian cannot be delivered from the smug self-assurance of the devout ones who know all the answers in advance, who possess all the cliches of the inner life and can defend themselves with the infallible ritual forms against every risk and every demand of dialogue with human need and human desperation." --Thomas Merton, "Contemplative Prayer"

Just when I intend to get started on doing something important, I am plunged into the desert. I become restless and anxious; always seeking some form of activity or stimulation. I am suddenly unable to practice solitude. The desert I am plunged into is a desert of the soul; a dryness and sense of being asleep to the presence of God.

This causes some problems for me because I happen to be paid to 'do religious things.' I teach about the life of following Jesus, and so when I enter this desert I tend to lean too heavily on words that come easily and without contemplation. The cliched and memorized language that give the impression of a green and vibrant life in God is a condemnation to me.

How did I end up here in this desert? Was I led here or did I set out on this alternate path? Most often it is the case that I have gone and gotten myself lost. Busyness, fear, pride; these are the things that happen to lead me into the desert. I fall back into old patterns of thinking and acting--patterns so ingrained that they resemble the patterns of addiction.

So I find myself empty; nothing to say that can be said with integrity and confidence. I am helpless to save myself except to cry out for the world to stop and God to rescue me.

What I realize now is that I have been holding my breath from grace. Dallas Willard wrote that saints are those who consume the most grace. What I need is to stop holding my breath through my busyness, fear, and pride, and start breathing in grace. I need to face the realities of my life and what all my activity, fear, and pride have produced.

I am undisciplined. I act on impulse and my desire of the moment. These patterns of undisciplined living have led me into this desert where I feel empty of the Spirit. The only hope I have is that even though I sense God's distance it is in that awareness that I know that God is very present. The very fact that I am aware of this absence and impulsiveness is a testament to me that God is with me and exposing these things to me.

That is a hope to me, but even now I caution myself against the complacency that so easily sets in on me. Complacency leads me to pride and further impulsiveness (not wanting to become a slave to discipline). How am I to press on beyond that kind of self-centered approach to the spiritual life? It is to do the things I can do that will, with God's work in my life, help me to be the kind of person who does not get caught up in busyness (nor laziness), fear (but love), or pride (but humility expressed in concern for others).

Even as I write these words, I sense that I am falling back on cliched and learned phrases; so that I can be satisfied that I'm thinking along the right lines again. Yet I know it must be more than just ideals and words. As Thomas Merton has instructed me this morning, "One aspect of this convenient spiritual disease is its total insistence on ideals and intentions, in complete divorce from reality, from act, and from social commitment." "Pretty thoughts" are not enough.

And so I dread the possibility that I am more concerned with ideals than acting on those ideals. I dread the possibility that I possess all the cliches of the inner life, but not much of the realities of those ideals. I have tasted "the awful dereliction of the soul closed in upon itself," and it has struck me with dread.

Yet, again, it is this dread that holds the promise of freedom and of love. As St. John of the Cross puts it, "when you see your desire obscured, your affections arid and constrained, and your faculties bereft of their capacity for any interior exercise, be not afflicted by this, but rather consider it a great happines, since God is freeing you from yourself and taking the work from your hands. For with those hands, howsoever well thay may serve you, you would never labor so effectively, so perfectly and so securely...as now, when God takes your hand and guides you in the darkness, as though you were blind, to an end, and by a way which you know not nor could you ever hope to travel with the aid of your own eyes and feet, howsoever good you may be as a walker."

Peace on Earth, Good will toward Men.

Do we really hope for it? I was reading one report tonight that states "conservative" estimates of a war with Iraq will kill 10,000 people. So if either you or I support the possible war with Iraq, we would be wise to question if we really hope for peace on earth???

Peace Indeed,
Randy

last night we thought through what it might mean for us to welcome strangers to the table. With the following picture (among others) we asked ourselves the question: Will we reject the stranger or love the stranger?

It was 2:15 a.m. last night, I was surfing other blogs, and my three year old daughter just climbed out of her bed to go to the bathroom. She is so cute even when she is tired.

The night before she was so tired too, but she couldn't find sleep. She was tossing and turnng, and I went into her room. She looks at me, and in her three year old voice says, "Daddy, can you sing the my God song to me, referring to Rich Mullins Step by Step. She fell asleep as I sang thru the song a second time. It was one of those powerful moments when I was reminded of the present reality of the kingdom now. It seems that Anna at three has as good of an understanding of God's present reality as I do.

Then yesterday afternoon I walk into the house and my wife, Kathy, is cooking pancakes. The smell of pancakes and syrup perminated the air, and I took notice. What an incredible fragrance, and I have missed it so often. But yesterday was different, and I noticed the smell of pancakes, syrup, and.. God's unmistakable presence. ... no, our home is far from the Leave It To Beaver Home that too many idealize, but it is a place where God's presence is very clear. It's just that I don't notice most of the time.

Tonight we will be listening for what God has to say to us and how we can respond concerning the weak and helpless people around us. I've put some thoughts together that I will share tonight (you can read them at my personal blog). Here's a little bit from what I wrote:

What will it mean for us to have the helpless at our table? I'm not exactly sure, but I know it will mean that we will be inconvenienced. I know it will mean confronting the pride that so quickly saturates the hearts of the affluent. It might mean that we will find ourselves in dangerous places. It might mean that we will be taken advantage of. It will probably mean that we will be disappointed when our efforts to love and help do not produce 'results'. But I am sure it will mean that we will know the goodness of being a people who share God's heart for the weak and helpless.

From the glimpses I've seen of this in my life, I know I want it to be more present than just in glimpses.

On December 8, we met at the Hager Park Visitors' Center.

Friday, November 29, 2002

Football... & God
So what do the two have to do with each other? Well, allow me to share a story, a real life story that has unfolded before my eyes. It isn't an internet e-mail thing nor is it meant to be cute. It simply happened.

Last week, Derrick De Young, a 16 year old high school junior from South Christian High School (in the Grand Rapids area) was killed in a car accident. The accident was the result of winter road conditions, and while the driver of the car walked away, Derrick had a much different fate.

Hours after Derrick's death, last Saturday morning, the football team gathered to make a decision. They were scheduled to play in the state semi-final game that afternoon. But they would be playing without one of their teammates. Should they play? Derrick's dad, a pastor, encouraged the team to play. As the game came to a close that afternoon the scoreboard read 42 - 21, South Christian. Derrick's number was 42. The team, strong on defense, hadn't scored 42 points in a game previous to the state semi-final.

This week Derrick's funeral took place, and a good friend of mine, Ken Schripsema, had the challenge and opportunity to speak. I prayed for him; he did well!

Today the state final game was on the line for the South Christian Sailors. An hour ago the game concluded. South won a hard fought game. They are the state champs. The final score 42 - 13. Read that score again. Ponder.

While I often believe God cares little about the outcome of sporting events (and perhaps I am entirely wrong), a sense of God's goodness in the midst of pain descended on those who knew Derrick's love for God, who knew this team, and know this God. In the midst of life, in the midst of death, we can be blessed!

We ARE always, always, always, always, always in His Grip!!!!!!

I've been reading Eugene Peterson's "Working the Angles" lately, and some things he said about Sabbath helped me put into words some things I think God has been trying to get through to me lately. Jumping off Peterson's idea of Sabbath as praying and playing, here's what I wrote today.

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Sabbath is about recognizing the fact that your life is completed in Christ. That, in Christ, you are complete. You are whole, and you do not NEED to keep trying to 'become.'

Somehow we have come to exalt anxiety. We are constantly trying to impress people by demonstrating that we are busy--that we are producing--and thus, that we are useful. Anxious people are important people. People who have great concerns are 'making a difference.' But I'm not so sure that all this anxiety and busyness is a mark of godliness. Jesus said not to be anxious. Jesus himself seemed to be very relaxed about things.

I believe that the peace that Jesus exhibited was the result of the fact that he lived the Sabbath. He knew what it was to live a life of wholeness. So he could play and pray his way through life. He could share in the wedding party and even contribute to the supply of wine. I don't ever remember Jesus going around telling people, "Yeah, I've been really busy--healing people, walking on water, feeding thousands."

Hey Jesus, how's your ministry? "Oh, you know, staying busy." Nope, I never read Jesus saying anything remotely like that. But I hear it so often from pastor-types.

I hate that answer most of all when it comes out of my mouth. It is, to me, a condemnation; a sign that I have got myself to involved with doing God's work for him (or at least trying to give that impression).

But what I must come to realize is that I am really not as necessary as I think I am. Sabbath-keeping reminds me of this. If I cannot stop from my work enough to be quiet and listen to God and to my wife, then I am trying to be something I was never created to be--a god.

Praying and playing teach me that I can do things that are, to all appearances, useless, and it may be the most spiritual thing I do all week. In praying, I take the time to bend my heart toward God in silence and listen. In playing, I learn to lay back in the joy and freedom that come with attending to the One Necessary Thing.

In praying, I can stop trying to impose my will on the world around me and allow God to impose His on me. In playing I learn to receive the good gifts of God; to live in the peace that comes in knowing I am God's beloved child.

I am convinced I don't play enough. And I know I certainly don't pray enough. And by 'don't pray enough', of course, I do not mean that I don't say enough words to God or speak to Him often enough. I mean that I don't listen enough. I don't sit silently before God enough to let my life come under the careful eye of the Great Physician. No, instead I busy myself with doing 'great' and 'significant' things. Instead, I fill my ears with music and my time with distractions.

And when I say I don’t' play enough, I mean I don't play enough. I'm not talking about extreme sports or entertainments. I'm talking about enjoying the life God has given me. I'm talking about dancing and singing like we all used to do when we were kids and weren't so afraid of what other people might think of us. No, I'm not talking about the respectable play that many of us do. I'm talking about the care-free (anxiety-free) play that appears foolish to most people. I'm talking about the play that you can have when you have been stripped of all pretense and worry. I don't do these things enough.

So I wonder if I really do honor the Sabbath. Most of the time, I think that I do not. It's easy to 'go to church' (twice?) and refrain from shopping of Sundays, and call it Sabbath-keeping. But I know better. I know that those have little to do with Sabbath-keeping. Besides, for me 'Going to church' means 'going to work.' It is the most stress-filled day of the week for me (and I am not alone!).

So how can I keep the Sabbath? I need the help of others. I need people to create space where I am completely unnecessary. I need people to send me to a place of silence and solitude and not ask me 'how did it go?" (which comes off as "What did you get out of it" and "Was it productive?")

How can you keep the Sabbath? I think first you have to recognize that it is something you need--that it is something that is good for you. And then not to kill it by becoming its servant. Jesus said that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So don't get upset if our Sabbath is interrupted--unless interruptions become the rule rather than the rare exception.

Another thing you can do is to ask yourself why you do the things you do Why do you work the number of hours you do? Is it to provide for your family? Good. Is it to afford a 'more comfortable' lifestyle? That may not be so good.

But above all, follow the simple instruction of Jesus to "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." Pursue a listening relationship with God. Close your mouth, open your ears, and open your heart to the (sometimes painful but always good) transforming work of the Spirit of God. Sabbath is ultimately about relationship. It is about living out of a right relationship with God. By that I do not mean the 'forgiven, peace treaty with God' right relationship (as important as that is). I mean recognizing that God is God and you, as much as you like to think of yourself as if you were, are not.

I remember riding in our family van with my dad. I was nine and we were headed to Dallas, Texas to visit some of my parents' friends. I slept and played and listened to music all the way down. I was never concerned with trying to plan out our route. I never tried to wrestle the wheel away from my dad. I never even entertained the ridiculous idea that the trip depended on me. I simply played and slept all the way to Dallas with complete confidence in my dad and his ability to navigate the highways and get us there. I was useless on that trip. I was completely unnecessary. But I saw it snow in Dallas on the day after Christmas, and it was beautiful.

If I am walking with God, then I can afford to be honest with myself about how unnecessary I am. And I can know that unnecessary does not equal worthless. It simply means that I live with an appropriate smallness. God is alive and present and at work all over the world around me. Amazingly He invites me to join him in what he's up to. And that is really not too hard for me to accept (it plays to my temptation to be useful). But what I find most amazing is that he invites me to stop doing and just sit and play and listen and watch what he's doing. That's Sabbath. To stop your doing long enough to listen and see what God's up to around you and within you, and then to laugh and play and live because what He's up to is so indescribably beautiful.

Oh man, I am loving the buynothingchristmas website. I am still not sure I can do it, but every non-chicken part of me wants to.

Check this out:

In our entertainment-saturated culture, in our consumer drenched environment, I believe we must be vigilant against every temptation to make certain people into focal points for our pleasure. I think we might have to reconsider how we sing together. I think we might have to reconsider the way we approach teaching. I think we (the church) will definitely have to reconsider how we are arranging our chairs.

I think need to redefine many of the terms we use so loosely: worship, church, community, giving, teaching, and pastoring, just to name a few. Most of these things have become a reflection of a user-oriented, individualistic, naturalistic (by which I mean a life lived without God) culture. 'Worship' has degraded into singing songs as a group. Church has been reduced to an address and a one to two hour slot in our dayplanners (if that). Giving has been reduced to an (optional?) religious tax. Teaching no longer has much to do with learning. And pastoring has come to mean successful organizational management. Lord, have mercy!

Who is really the center of all this? We are. I think we must ask ourselves if we have turned the church into our own tower of Babel. Are we pursuing a way to make a name for ourselves under the guise of reaching for heaven? I fear that many of us are.

Dismiss me as a navel-gazer. Call me naive to 'the way the real world works.' But I can't help but wonder if our ineffectiveness in being the light of the world is a result of the fact that we have lost our sense of vocation. In our rush to be relevant and to 'make a difference', I wonder if we haven’t exchanged our God-given vocation for something more resembling capitalism? Souls and geography represent market share, etc.

What is the way forward for us? I think it will be for us to risk being seen as fools. To live as a nomadic community with no place to lay our heads (read, 'a building of our own'), so we can give our money to those we know who are in need.

There are many other ways we will be seen as fools; some of which I'm not even ready to consider right now. But if we are fools for Christ (and by that I don't mean weird in the superficially weird ways that some 'fools' are weird--in most cases, we might look weird to many in the church), we will be fools for the right reasons. Recklessly embracing the outcast, giving a voice to the voiceless, and sharing the table with 'sinners.'

I think that when we do this, we might start recapturing life with God at the center. Or maybe a better way of saying it is that when God is allowed to be the Center again, those kinds of changes will result naturally as we respond to the things we see God doing and the words we hear God saying.

I received something in the mail the other day. It's a brochure for pastor types, and it's promoting a "Pastoral Summit" conference that will be held in three locations this coming spring, summer, and fall. This thing includes big names. It looks like one of the things to attend in 2003. Well, maybe not. The title of this thing... "Coming together to transform one church - yours".

Well, I don't like like the modern/post-modern debate. I don't like ripping on the traditional folks either. I do like ripping on a bad, really bad, understanding of church and God. PATHETIC!!! If that is what the church is about...

If it is about my church. If it is all about me, it is no wonder that the church of Jesus Christ is in trouble in North America. Wait. No. Let me get this right. the church of Jesus Christ is alive and well. Perhaps it is "my" church that is in trouble. Those are two entirely different things.
... you want to talk about an aweful understanding of Christ's church... sigh...

We're taking a bit of a turn in our worship gatherings starting in December. We're going to try doing some potluck worship. No, we're not worshipping potlucks (who in the WORLD would do that?!!!). We just want our worship to be a reflection of who we are, not just a reflection of what two or three of us think it should be. Here is the e-copy of the 'menu' we passed out last night. I must say that some props go to Steve Collins from Grace for writing a simple sentence that woke me up to thie idea (he wrote: "Alternative worship is what happens when people create worship for themselves, in a way that fully reflects who they are as people and the culture that they live their everyday lives in."). Also credit goes to Cityside for something on their site that helped me with our 'menu' selections. So anyway, here's the stuff....Oh, I forgot, thanks to Daryll and John at Southside Vineyard here in G.R. for the title to our december theme, "Come to the Table."

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Most of us are familiar with potluck dinners—those infamous church functions when everybody brings a dish to pass. Some of the food is really good, some of it is really not so good. But we all eat and share in the experience of the meal together.

Potluck worship is kind of like that. Everybody brings something to help each other learn to worship God with our whole lives.

We want our corporate worship time to be a reflection of who we are, not just the reflection of one person’s ‘vision’ for worship. So we’re inviting you to bring something to the ‘meal.’ This ‘menu’ is a list of ‘dishes’ that you might prepare and bring during the month of December.

Our theme for December is “Come to the Table.” All through the Scriptures we see God’s concern to bring the most unlikely people to come and sit around his table. Poor people, social outcasts, helpless people, enemies, moral failures, and the other voiceless people of society; they are all welcomed to come, to eat, to drink, and to delight in the Lord.

So we will follow Jesus’ lead and “Come to the Table”. We hope you will invite some unlikely people to come and share in the meal. We hope you will bring something to share in our potluck worship. And we think that as we do this we might make God smile as we honor Him together.

Opening Responses
Welcome everyone to the gathering. Share a story. Share a prayer. Share a poem. Share a song. Just share.

Call to Worship and Prayer for God’s Blessing
Offer up a prayer, written or spontaneous, to invite God to make us aware of His presence among us.

Sung or Meditative Worship
Sing a song. Lead the group in a time of reflection and meditation on a Scripture. Express your heart for God.

Stations/Installations
Create an interactive space to direct our thinking and prayers to the places where life on earth intersects with the life of God. Make it artsy or make it simple. Create!

Reading Worship
Share a poem or psalm or prayer you’ve written. Share a journal entry or a short story you’ve read. Help us hear different ways God shapes our lives to be like His.

Lectio Divina
Lead us in a time simply reading, praying, and meditating on the Scriptures. Help us place our lives under the Scriptures to be transformed.

Prayer of Confession and Words of Forgiveness
Offer up a prayer of reconciliation. Confess. Ask forgiveness.

Devotional Expression
Share a few thoughts on how God has spoken to you through life, though the Scriptures. Share something that might help someone love God some more. Share the love.

Sermon and Response
Build a bridge between life and the Scriptures. Teach about the focus passage for the night and show us how to meet God in the ordinary. Bring us alive to the Scriptures.

Children’s Space
We love having our kids with us. They remind us of how Jesus wanted us to be. So do something for the kids. Sing a song, help them draw, or just play with them and show them God’s love.

Communion Meal
Lead us in some time around the table. Help us reconnect ourselves to Jesus—to unite ourselves with Jesus in the bread and the wine. Share a few thoughts. Share a prayer. Share some bread and wine. Celebrate the new covenant.

Concerns
Facilitate a time for people to share what’s on their heart. Ask for people to share prayer concerns, give thanks, ask questions, or just talk about where they see God at work around us.

Prayers for Others
Lead in a prayer for the world. Lead in a prayer for those mentioned in people’s Concerns. Ask a few people to pray with you, open it up to the group, or just pray yourself.

Sending Song
Sing a song. Send us out as missionaries and pastors where we live. Choose a song for us to listen to. Lead us in a song or two that communicates the heart of our topic for the night.

Sending Prayer
Send us off with a good word of God’s grace. Speak a blessing on the group and on their work in the coming week. Send us out with encouragement and hope.

december
Come to the Table


december 8
the helpless at the table
2 Samuel 9
John 8:1-11


december 15
strangers at the table
Deuteronomy 10:17-19
Matthew 15:32-38


december 22
outcasts at the table
Luke 19:1-10
Luke 14:15-24


december 29
enemies at the table
Matthew 5:43-48
Mark 14:17-26
Romans 5:8

I just posted the text and some images that I used at Jenison's 'Encounter' service last night. It was really nice. Randy, Kathy, and Jaden showed up. Anyway, check it out here.

Some thoughts on listening...

How well do I really listen? I know I listen to others, but I am not sure I do it very well.

Most of the time, my mind is racing on all the things I have yet to get done. If I happen to be in a conversation, my mind is usually racing with the next thing I want to say. When I do that, I just use the other person's words and ideas as a jumping point for my next idea or statement. Of course, that can be a good thing when we are working together to come up with ideas. I have been part of some really exciting 'brainstorming' that is marked by that kind of 'leapfrogging of ideas.'

However, I am concerned here with the way that I try to make my thoughts and ideas the only 'important' ones. It then becomes important that I am heard--that I am understood--and, usually, that I am agreed with.

I am learning, though, that it can be really good to just sit silently and listen. Occasionally, I will catch my impulse to speak and I will choose to remain silent instead. It has, more than once, opened up a wonderful silence into which the other person was able to enter and share their ideas.

But I still wonder if I am listening well.

I think that listening well makes us vulnerable. We are forced to recognize our own need to change. Sometimes it is our ideas that must change. Other times it is our behavior that needs to change. And still other times, it is our attitude toward that person that needs to change.

When we listen well, we hear the pain of the other person, and we identify with them in their pain. This is not an enjoyable experience. Our own pain is bad enough most of the time, how can we bear the pain of others? We can, and I believe that we must understand it as part of our vocation to do so.

One day I sat on my front porch and listened to the world around me. I listened to the loneliness of the widows I knew. I listened to the disappointment of a family down the street. I listened to the pain of a family who had lost their son when his car struck a telephone poll right down the street from my house. And (this may sound funny to you) I even listened to the pain of the squirrel that had recently been killed by a random car driving down the road.

In this very sensitive moment, I was able to identify with the pain of the world around me. It was heartbreaking, and really a little too much for me to handle. But in that moment, I realized what it meant to listen well.

To listen is to become attentive to the world around you; to its hurts, its hopes, its joys. And ultimately, it is to be attentive to God. It is to wait; to be still until 'the other' has spoken. To do this demands time. We must lay aside our pocket calendars and take off our watches. We must put off our agendas so that we can truly be present with 'the other'. Otherwise our attention is elsewhere, and that does not respect the person with whom we find ourselves.

I realize that we live in a culture that is ruled by schedules. We have clocks, watches, calendars, and secretaries (or computer calendar programs) to remind us where to go next. Whether these things make for a better life is debatable, but I think we need to reconsider our approach to life if we can never be present where we are because we are so preoccupied with where we 'have to be' next.

I hope to become a better listener. I hope to be more attentive to the pain and joy in the world around me. I hope to be the kind of person who is attentive to the voice of God. I hope to live beyond the tyranny of the schedule so I can truly be with my wife, my parents, my brothers, my sisters, my friends, and anyone else I am with. I hope I learn to listen well.

Here are a few thoughts that I posted on a discussion board a theooze.com I thought it would be worth posting them here as well:

...perhaps we need to re-evaluate what "real church" looks like. Perhaps it is a para-church organization. Perhaps it is a group of friends that like to hang out and talk about God or do service projects or just enjoy life and acknowledge that God is the Lord of their lives.

Perhaps church is more about the journey together than the destination of heaven. Perhaps it is being people living within the story of God than it is about doing morning devotions. I could go on and on... I think we need to realize that church comes in many forms that are different than our previous idea of church.

Perhaps it also means that we step out and begin new forms of church. Perhaps we need to move beyond the idea of a "church within a church" and get our elderly people to commision us to follow our own visions. Undoubtedly, and no "perhaps" on this point, we need to grow and prune churches to believe that they are a sending people.

A sending people, a missionary people, don't just send others to Africa. They also send others to grow new faith communities on the other side of the country, on the other side of the state, and also on the other side of the street. We are NOT competing here. We are brothers and sisters.

Brothers and sisters grow up and move out. Mom and dad are glad. Why doesn't the church get this concept? I'm not even sure that we as church planters, youth pastors, or Ooze addicts get this idea too well either...

If we are truly a sending people, youth pastors would be encouraged to start new faith communities. Church planters would be encouraged to grow new dreams and visions, and the family would function as it should. It needs to continue to grow, and it needs to continue to grow up... as we become kingdom people.

The Church around the Table

When my family gets together for Christmas, all my aunts and uncles bring food--and I mean good food!--and presents and we laugh and play and talk about what's going on in our lives. When we sit down to eat, we enjoy what each family brought. My aunt Linda usually brings scalloped potatoes, my Grandma always brings homemade bread and bankett, my uncle Chuck brings a Honey-Baked ham, and the rest bring their specialties. It is an incredible feast. I love it.

What if, one Christmas, everyone started reading "Martha Stewart Living" and began believing that it wouldn't be an incredible feast without a Maple Roast Turkey with Riesling Gravy, Elms' Root Vegetable Red Flannel Hash, Cranberry Orange Relish, and Laurel and Holly Wreaths hangin on the walls? What if no one was able to make such exotic dishes? We would all feel like Christmas was a failure. We would all feel a little hollow inside, like our Christmas together just didn't measure up.

Thankfully, my family doesn't read Martha Stewart Living--at least they don't admit it. Unfortunately, our churches have bought into the idea that Christmas isn't Christmas without Elms' Root Vegetable Red Flannel Hash. I mean to say that our churches have bought into the idea that church isn't church without a dynamic preacher, a wicked good praise band, custom-fit self-help programs, expertly taught bible studies, and whatever else. So we look beyond the people in our group and bring in some outside help.

"We want someone who can fold napkins into a bird of paradise and crochet baby booties out of lambswool." "We need to hire a dynamic preacher," etc. Somehow we have come to believe that the people with whom we are in community are not enough to make us a 'good church.' Why don't we say, look, we are who God has given us right now, so let's make what we do a reflection of who we can be rather than who some magazine or book tells us we should be?

Until recently, our community has been without an instrumentalist. Now Kyle is playing guitar for us, and I am thankful for it. But I wonder if we didn't fall prey to the idea that we were something less than church when we were singing along to a CD. Now it is about facilities. What's next? All I am wondering is this: if we guage what 'church' is by what some book or cultural assumption, will we always be looking beyond the people we are today--and will we always be reacing to be something we are not?

If we would stop lusting through the pages of Martha Stewart Living, maybe we will realize the incredible feast God has provided for us in the people who are with us today. Yes, I would love to adopt more people into the family, and as my younger cousins grow up, they are bringing their spouses to the dinner and we are getting more food--some better, some not. Maybe someone will learn to make a Maple Roast Turkey with Riesling Gravy and fold all our napkins in interesting shapes, but it will not be less of a feast without it because we take the time to appreciate the people who come to the party and share in the food they do bring.

I hope to see our churches do the same.

I want to challenge what I have recently been thinking of as 'Hungry Hippo' church. In this pattern of behavior, churches do all they can to 'get more people in the doors'--and keep them in. Like the game where you hit the lever to move the hippo head and grab the marbles, some churches see their purpose as collecting as many people as they can.

To use another analogy, this approach is much like a family where the parents try to keep their children at home all their lives.

Imagine a mother and father whose 40 year old son is still living at home and incapable of living on his own--incapable of starting a family of his own--incapable of life outside the protection of mom and dad. The son is physically healthy, but the parents never raised him to be able to function on his own--never allowed him to even imagine a life where he could be married and reproduce. At best we would call this dysfunctional. At worst, we might say it's criminal.

But this is how some churches (many churches?) operate. We work hard at getting people in, but we do not entertain the thought of growing people to the point where they go out and start 'families' of their own. "What's wrong with living with your mom and dad? Don't we show you all the love you need? Don't we provide you with food and shelter?"

Of course I realize that many churches are quite happy when their members 'go into ministry.' However, these people seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Why do we not set things up so people naturally grow up and start 'families' of their own?

Maybe it has to do with power. We want some significant level of control over people. Do we create structures that make people dependent on the institution? Whether it is intentional or not, I think we do.

Codependency is a recognized dysfunction in relationships between people; why is it excused in churches? Is it because we are really more concerned with our own 'grand' agendas than with helping people develop fully functional, interdependent lives? I think we need to ask ourselves that question.

Perhaps it seems the most expedient way, the most efficient way, to get something accomplished. The bigger the group, the greater the resources, the more we can do. “So grow your group because you will be able to do more good things.” But I'm not so sure the problem is with the size of a group. I think the problem is with what we define as 'good things.'

I think that for too many churches 'good things' means what our culture would identify as success and accomlishment. This is why our churches make a big deal about how much money we have given to missionaries, or how many people have been converted, or how much influence we have in the community. I'm not saying these are bad things, but they are poor indicators of spiritual transformation.

How many churches (local communities of disciples) can say that they have never grown beyond sixty in number because the developed people into fully functional disciples who 'left home' and started families of their own? How many churches have had to ‘close the doors’ because they had ‘given birth’ to so many others that they simply had nothing more to give? Not too many, I think. Most churches celebrate the fact that their family is so big and very few of their children ever leave. Again, I'm not suggesting big is bad. I am suggesting underdevelopment is bad.

Why is our goal not to grow people up and send them out, but to get people in and keep them in? Why do we seem to be more concerned with self-preservation than mission? Maybe too many of us think self-preservation is the mission.

What if our churches were to exchange our 'keep them at home' structures for 'train them to go' structures?

I heard about something like this recently, so I thought I'd put one together.

Do you think it is appropriate?

What would happen if we did this?
Just wondering...
I don't know if I could do it...but I think that's not such a good thing.
When do I know if I'm materialistic?
When do I know if I'm loving Mammon?
I'm not pushing this on you.
Just wondering...

The other day I saw a sign that read, "Good is the enemy of great." Of course it was suggesting that mediocrity is the enemy of excellence, but it also got me thinking this morning about another sort of good and great. So I thought, "Greatness does not guarantee goodness." A person can strive for and achieve great accomplishments in life and still lack character. It seems to me that the more important pusuit is character--goodness. It may even be said that without goodness, no one is great, and that the greatest among us have been those whose lives are marked by goodness. So let's grow in the character of Jesus and pursue the ruling and reigning of God in our lives--let any accomplishment flow out of lives of character rather than naked ambition.

Here's an email I got from Randy this morning:

"Good Morning!!! I am really tired, but I have some good news… pictures will be sent your way within the next day. At 9:55 p.m. on Thursday night, Kathy gave birth to a healthy baby boy!!! His name is Jaden Andrew Buist. He weighed 6 lbs 14 oz, and he is 20 inches long. All went well, and mother, son, and dad are doing fine. We arrived at the hospital at 7 p.m., and it was less than three hours later when he entered the world. God is Good! Randy"

Congratulations Randy and Kathy!

I was working through some ideas the other day about apprenticeship, but I got distracted by an issue of how we should approach the Scriptures. I wrote, "But we were never called to be a ‘people of the book.’ We were called to be the people of God, and in that sense we are a people who, like all those in the Scriptures, are a people of the Story." I'm still processing what exactly our approach to the Scriptures should be. (For the full article, which is the fifth in a study I did called 'Living in God's Story', click here).

Last night I talked through some other ideas on apprenticeship with some friends and came up with what I thought was a pretty helpful mental image. I believe that the strongest force for apprenticeship is the love of God (God's love for us and our love for God). The analogy of a compass came to my mind, so I looked at my life and thought, "Yeah, the love of God is like this magnetic north that draws us to God." Then I thought about all the other 'false norths' in my life and how small magnetic sources, when near, can through a compass off the true magnetic north. It was a great picture for me.

Later, my friend Kevin told me about a story of a guy who was walking in the Arctic and trying to find his way with a compass, but his gun barrel was throwing his compass off just a little. By the time he realized what was happening, he had been travelling for a day and a half and was completely lost. He died, and they found his journal and he told what had happened in his journal. True story? I don't know. (If someone could confirm that, I'd appreciate it.) Anyway, it's a wonderful illustration of how the competing loves in our lives can lead us out of the rule of God.

So, I see the role of spiritual disciplines as aids in identifying the 'false norths' or other loves in our lives, and in 'neutralizing' their disorienting effects. The disciplines, when done in cooperation with the Spirit of God, can help us navigate life according to the love of God.

So, that's the start of my thinking so far. Let's hear your comments.


On another note, Marsha is coming back from her treatment in California today. Be praying that she makes wise choices when she returns.

Joe Myers is taking part in a web conversation (on The Ooze) about intimacy with God. His insights are always worthy of pausing and taking seriously. The link to this forum...

Here are some of my thoughts from Soularize. I wrote these thoughts as the conference was unfolding...well, you'll get it.



Yesterday Doug Pagitt talked about his journey and some of the things people have taught him. Nothing too new for me there. It was good stuff, I just felt like I've been there already. I also feel a bit that he was holding back(?). I thought Soularize was supposed to be a bit shocking and pushing the edges and all--and in many ways it is--but I am reminded that some people are just starting out on the journey beyond traditional faith experiences. It will mean that we will need to be more patient with others who are beginning their journey.

One thing that I noticed bothering me this morning was the fact of explaining what we're doing at Water's Edge. I find myself wanting to talk about practice rather than tell other people what I'm doing. It always seems like bragging or some sort of showcasing. Maybe that is just what I'm struggling with in my heart--with all my desire to be respected. Well, I would really like to get into a good conversation about spiritual transformation here.

I talked with Rick Bennett this morning as we walked here from the hotel. Rick was sharing a little on his workshop "The Cult of Cool vs. Post-consumerism." He commented that so much of what people are doing is in danger of just becoming a 'cool' version of what is already going on. That is what I felt to a degree about this morning's 'DJ led worship. It was a very noisy and busy project. Cool, yes, but not very engaging to me. I did appreciate the stations--one of which was an open art table. I did a picture of Jesus in the 'scribble' style that I have been experimenting with. It turned out prety good, but I think I ruined it by putting words on the paper: 'love is beautiful.' Yes, it is, but I should have left it with the image.

Anyway, from my talk with Rick, I was sensing that the way forward (or way out, as I put it then) will require movements toward humility, stillness, and irrelevance (in the sense of not being driven by needs or attractiveness, but by the Spirit). Humility, or an appropriate smallness, is needed for we must take our eyes off of ourselves (and stop worrying about how others think of us), and focus on others. We must gently create space for others, and listen.

Pride drives us into the many problems of hurry and propels us to say all kinds of unnecessary things--which only make us sound stupid or arrogant. I think this humility will take the form of speaking only when we are invited to speak--at least moreso than we have in the past. We're so tempted to walk around like peacocks, spreading our words like feathers to impress others. But as we become people who simply listen, our beauty will be quiet and creative. It will create beauty in others. It will help others draw near to God in ways they did not expect or even know possible. I think this humility is perhaps most necessary when dealing with people who 'do not get it'--people who have not yet struggled with the questions we are asking. There is a real temptation to have a meanness and arrogance toward our mother (the faith 'system' we come from). Like adolescents searching to find an identity apart from their parents, Our struggle comes off as mean and self-centered.

Stillness is another move that will be necessary for us. This has more to do with the frantic pace of life that we have been trained to desire. We must be comfortable with producing nothing--to simply 'be' before God. This stillness shows us that the world does not really need all our busyness. We are not really necessary. The irony is that such people who recognize their non-necessity are the most needed people among us. They teach us to depend on God and to act, not out of an anxiety to produce, but from an identity of love--loving in the name (identity) of Jesus.

Stillness gives us the perspective and ability to hear the vox Dei (the voice of God). As Dallas (Willard) said, "Silence is like the wind of Eternity blowing in your face." One of he greatest enemies of our faithfulness is in busyness. Perhaps our greatest ally then, will be stillness. Perhaps we will then know what it means to fulfill our calling to be a people of peace. Perhaps we will experience a bit of the promised rest of God. And from that rest, we can find the most helpful sort of creativity. The healing creativity of God in our hearts

Irrelevance is also necessary. Not in the sense of being 'no earthly good', but in the sense of not being driven by our need to be needed or wanted. Secretly we may desire to have others be contingent upon us--that we meet needs for them that no one else can. But we forget that we too are contingent beings. Irrelevance means, i suppose, that we direct everyone to depend on God rather than on us. We will then be Spirit directed, and not 'need' driven. From this mindset of irrelevance alone can we truly be helpful to others. It is because we grasp our own contigency that we can help others where they truly have need--the need to depend on God. (There is probably more on this idea, but I'm out of time.)

Anyway, I have been experiencing God's peace through the music of John Michael Talbot this morning. It is so helpful for calming my heart that is so prone to busyness and noise and anxiety about producing.

My centering prayer last night was "Hallowed be Thy name." It was so necessary to me as I have been secretly hoping for my name to be respected. I am content to remain in silence and irrelevance if God's name will be hallowed among the people around me.

I hope that I can find a way forward from a critical spirit. I have been able to see clearly the problems around me, but I long to be able to move forward to be able to see the creative movements necessary as well.


Thursday@8:00am--It's strange who you meet when you least expect it. Last night I found out that the previous night I was talking to some guys from Lincoln. Jeremiah and Brian. In a strange collision of worlds, Brian and I played basketball together (or against) each other in intramural basketball when I was in Seminary. Then I was reading his blog a few months ago, and then last night we talked and I found out he was a LCC (Lincoln Christian College) grad. Then he told me that the other guy he was with was none other than Brian Lowery--the son of one of my most influential professors. It was really quite serendipitous.

So we talked for a few hours over Roast beef, Mashed Potatoes, and later, a cider. It was really great to see some more Christian Church people in this conversation I was feeling quite alone in this whole thing.

Anyway, last night I was able to go to Joe Myers' workshop on Post-Evangelicalism. It was probably more significant than I understood. It's hard to get outside of the framework that one assumes to be reality. I mean to say that I understood what he was saying, but it was hard for me to see how my life would look in light of it. What I came to was that beyond evangelicalism the church will need to see its role as 1) coming alive to God, and 2) being a catalyst for 'the other' to come alive to God's presence as well. He suggested that most Christians believe that Satan is omnipresent (or else they think Satan is working on them personally), and that God is almost omnipresent. But we must reexamine the ideas we have about omnipresence (as well as a great number of ideas) so that we really understand what it means for God to be present everywhere. It will mean that we assume God to be at work in everyone's life in some way--even in the lives of people we have written off. So we will include them in our 'congregations'. It will dramatically redifine 'those who count' for us.

Joe suggested that Christians should take up an idea from MLM about seeing everyone within ten feet of you as a 'target'. Let's not take up the 'target' language, but it will be a radically helpful shift for us to consider everyone around us as someone we can help (and not in the patronising way we often 'help' people), but to simply help people, where appropriate, with their lives. He suggested that this, in some way, brings the kingdom of God into their lives. I think I agree with that because I believe God is at work already in everyone's life--they just don't always see it. So it is our job to simply demonstrate the love and compassion of God in a life of peace, love ,joy, and purity of heart, so that we may act as a catalyst for other people to come alive to God's presence and action in their life. Grace permeates this world now, and we must come alive to that reality in our lives if we are to help others come alive to it as well.

Friday night, Oct 18--Sitting in the Midway airport. As I look back on the trip, I struggle to define the immediate benefit of the conference. I suppose it is in the continued affirmation that we are not alone in our journey. I think the highlight for me was the conversations with people, and in particular, the conversations I had with Brian Lowery. I also developed a sense of connection to the Ooze as a community. The workshop with Tom & Christine Sine today was the best workshop I attended. It was good to hear people talking in such articulate ways about the things I have been trying to teach (often in not-so-articulate ways).

We strolled through the Mall of America during a few hours we had free in the afternoon. It was a complete disappointment. I was painfully aware of the incredible power that materialism has over our culture. A great ziggurat of consumerism, the Mall of America, shows me what god we really trust in. I can't temper this idea anymore. I cannot excuse my own materialism anymore (although I do sense that it is weaker than it used to be--at least in some ways). I cannot apologize to others for condemning it. I walked through that enormous temple of greed, and thought, "I never saw so much stuff I didn't want" (that is, until I saw the Apple store). How did this come to be? We can build these huge buildings for ourselves, but we can't spare $1800 to build a small cement block house for a family in southern Africa. I suppose I have been comfortably dumb about it in the past. I suppose I have been able to ignore it--and maybe I will still forget more than I remember--but this idea of injustice and apathy for the poor keeps washing ashore in my mind. One day, I will stop throwing it back out to sea.

Anyway, as I flew into Chicago, we encountered a little turbulence. Those moments force you to admit your complete helplessness to save yourself. It is a complete act of confidence in the ability of the pilot and the laws of physics. I thought about life and how fragile and precious it is.

Gotta catch my plane.

Tonight (Sunday night) we had a huge group of people for our worship time. You need to understand that 30 plus is huge for us. Part of the reason for so many people... a group of people from a few miles away are also doing a new faith community thing. It was great to have a handful of them with us. It was also great to hear about the joys and struggles of another faith community. Our two communities are kindred spirits. Perhaps we need to consider doing a few things together just to encourage and support one another.

During the course of the night, we heard about some of the struggles of working with a denomination as they are doing. We faced the same issue a year and a half ago. We moved away from the institutional/denominational model, and thus we said goodbye to lots of funding and support. We also said hello to new ways of being the church.

In the midst of the conversation, I was again remined how the baby boomers believe in the strong church leader model of church planting/church prospering. While the model has worked for a while now, someone sold the boomers swampland in the ocean when they became convinced that the strong leader model was the ONLY way of being Christ's church. Perhaps I have strong opinions here, but the biblical model doesn't support one way of leadership at the exclusion of the other. My gripe - why won't the boomers who control so much of the institutional money get it? Why won't they admit that the mainline churches are not connecting? Barna and most every other statasticial will point toward the younger generations walking out the doors of the church. Yet, they fail to really think beyond what they currently know. They continue to find examples of their models being effective. They continue to sit on the boards of the Lilly Foundations, and they continue to dole out money to the seminaries and "known" organizations that are desiring to try something new.

I am tired of fighting the old way of being God's people. The old way isn't wrong. It has worked. God has been faithful in the midst of doing church as my grandparents and parents largely know it. Sadly though, their generations too often fail to believe that the Spirit will lead if faith communities look altogether different than they did twenty, ten, or one year ago. ... But here is my question. Do you think that Jesus envisioned the "Lord's Supper" being served from an expensive hardwood table with the words, "This do in rememberance of me" carved onto it? As I said before, this isn't wrong. It has served the church well, but it really has very little to do with the grace of God as we remember and believe it through the practice of communion.

That's enough for now. It mostly reminds me of why it would be difficult, and probably impossible, for me to do church as I did for the first thirty-four years of my life. It also helps me realize that God has given us an incredible adventure as we try to find new ways of being God's people for the younger and future generations. With the words of Paul, since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. God's blessings as we keep in step with the Spirit of the living (note - not dieing) God!

Well, it's Tuesday and I've been quite busy. Among all the sightseeing, I have been able to connect with some really great people from the London churches. Sunday night, we headed out to St. Stephen's Twickenham. It was a nice contemporary service. The music guys sounded just like and 'unplugged' Delirious. They were really good. I got to talk a bit with one of the clergy guys, named Adrian, and to another fellow, Andy (for a few seconds). It was an interesting trip to Twickenham, but not the alternative worship service I assumed it would be. Not bad, just not what I expected.

On Monday I was able to connect with Steve Collins from Grace. Steve drew me a perfect map, and then gave me a two hour lesson in alternative worship. Wow. I was in the presence of greatness. Okay, I was in the presence of someone who had 'been there and done that' for more years than I've even known about it. Steve really cleared things up for me and affirmed to me that what we're doing is headed in the right direction. Steve gave me a personal tour of his website (smallfire.org) and showed me all the amazing stuff folks like Grace and Vaux and Epicentre have been doing.

Steve shared with me a little of the dynamics of the Church in England and how things are headed. the picture did not look good. Many people give the intitutional church 40-50 years before it runs out of people and resources to hold it up as is. Steve said a lot more, but I didn't record it. Needless to say, I am grateful for his time and all he shared with me. Especially the affirmation he offered to us and what we're trying to do. I'll share with you all next time I see you some of the rest of what he said, but I'll move on to other things...

Steve recommended that I go to an Epicentre gathering, so I went. I showed up a little early, so I headed over to a pub for a stromboli and a pint--oops, make that a soda water. :) It was an okay stromboli, but I've had better. I showed up later to Epicentre and sat down with them on the floor around a banquet of snacks. The theme of the night was on Harvest, so we gave thanks for the abundant harvest God provided for us, and prayed for places where harvest is not so plentiful. The rest of the night we did some liturgy (great stuff), and talked. I talked with Nick and Phillip and Peter (some perfectly wonderful Anglican clergy-types who gave me a thoroughly enjoyable ride back to the 'tube' station at Sloan Square--my only car ride so far!) and later arranged to have lunch with Ian (one of the lead guides for Epicentre).

So today, I was pouring 20p, 10p, and £1 coins into the phone booth to set up my meeting with Ian. We finally arranged to meet outside the Westminster Tube station in front of Big Ben (which is actually only the big bell, not the clock tower itself). We met there and went to a cafe at the place where Methodism began (or else where it is only now barely holding on...I don't remember exactly), the Methodism Central Hall. My conversation with Ian was really great. Again, Ian affirmed to me that we are headed in the right direction. He did caution me about making sure we have a good connection with an established church--one whose leadership will be completely supportive to what we're doing. It will keep us from having to justify and legitimatize ourselves constantly. It made me think that perhaps we might reconsider our relationship with Southside Vineyard. They 'get' what we're doing. They offered to let us use their facility. Maybe we should be a little more open to making the drive once a week.

Anyway, it was a really good talk with Ian, and then we went to a bookstore in the heart of the Anglican Church, and I bought a couple of books: 'Threshold of the Future,' by Michael Riddell, and 'Truth is Stranger than It Used to Be,' by J. Richard Middleton and Brian J. Walsh. I will be ordering, on Ian's recommendation, a new book by Alan Jamieson, 'A Churchless Faith.'

So that's my report for now. Of course that all excludes the scores of miles I have put on my shoes and on the 'Tube', and all the sights I've seen, but I won't stir up envy in your hearts. ;)

peace to you all.

Cheerio everyone! I made it to London. I have seen Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, Parlaiment, and have already mastered the underground. Okay, maybe I haven't mastered it, but we're getting around pretty well.

I'm hoping to connect with some of the folks at Grace here in London. That would really make this trip worthwhile to me...honestly. I am planning also on seeing Stonehenge next week. I know they don't let you walk up and touch them anymore, but it will still be cool.

London is really a place that needs a powerful presence of the Spirit of Jesus through His people. I stood in the customs line for nearly an hour and a half and there were people there from every tribe and tongue and nation. There were so many muslims, hindus, and loud mouthed Americans. I thought, "Our West Michigan Dutch Conservative ghetto is keeping us from seeing the true need in the world." Okay, it wasn't exactly that, but close enough. We really are sheltered from the rest of the world and I am not sure if we are better off for it.

Well, I think I should cut it off there and share the computer with the fellow behind me. He seems a little impatient. So I'll share....

peace.

It's late; I'm tired. I am also very content. My wife, Kathy, has been supporting our family habit of doing the water's edge new church thing. She is a chemical engineer; I stay home with our three year old, and I try to keep the home going as well as give direction to water's edge. WELL, two weeks ago she got laid off. So, we are without a significant income.

Funny thing... neither of us are alarmed that we are six weeks away from our second child entering the world, and we have no real income other than the unemployment stuff. Before you think anything else, let me say the following - We are not looking for sympathy or food handouts. God has simply given us the faith (on this particular issue) to believe that He is in control. While leaving co-workers has not been an easy thing after such a good review only a month ago, Kathy has clearly realized that God is in the midst of this unemployment thing.

While God has given us peace in this situation, I wonder why I have much less peace about situations that are much less significant? ... and my mind wanders... why is it easier for us to sometimes leave the big things for God, but we have a hard time doing the same with the less signficiant things in life? ... let me know if you have any great revelations! God Bless!

In case you missed it, here's what we did last night...

Kyle did a great job leading us in singing. I really appreciate Kyle's concern for putting significant thought into choosing songs.

I shared my thoughts on Luke 10:25-37 and Matthew 5:43-48. The big idea was that it is the nature of the kingdom heart to love. I suggested that it is antithetical to the nature of the kingdom heart to cherish, excuse, or tolerate any degree of bitterness, rage, or malice toward others--even our 'enemies'.

Then we did two stations: one of emptying our hearts of malice, and one of filling our hearts with God's love. Here's the text from the stations...

EMPTYING
1. Examine the condition of your heart.
Are you holding any grudges against someone?
Do you desire someone to “get what’s coming to them”?
Have you spoken harmful words toward anyone recently?
Have you spoken harmful words about anyone recently?
2. Take a cup of the dark water in your hands. Identify that corrupted water as a picture of how hatred and malice may be corrupting your heart.
3. Read the Scripture below.
1 Peter 2:
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
4. Empty your cup into the basin and ask God to empty your heart of all malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander.

FILLING
1. Identify the relationships in your life in which you need to demonstrate love, mercy, and forgiveness.
2. Read the Scripture below:
Romans 12:
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse…
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
3. Take an empty cup into your hands. As the water is poured into your cup, let it symbolize the love of God flowing into your life and out to your neighbors.
4. Ask God to change your heart so that love and forgiveness will be the hallmark of your life.


Lastly, Mike Dies led us in communion. It was so great to see people really participating in our worship service. I hope to see it more and more as people really begin to see themselves as ministers and missionaries.

One final note, my wife Torie has been demonstrating love in a way that, too often, I only talk about. She has been a friend to a woman who is in great physical danger because of an eating disorder. Marcia is 5'6" and weighs 91 pounds and needs to get treatment very soon. Please pray that God's people will step in and come up with the money to get her the treatment she needs. We are hoping she can get to Remuda Ranch in Arizona, but she needs $20,000. It is really becoming a life and death kind of thing. Above all these things, please pray that Marcia will come to see herself as God's beloved daughter, a person of immeasurable worth--a truth that she is having great difficulty believing.

Also, please pray for Randy and Kathy. Kathy was 'laid off' last Thursday along with a number of other people at her firm.

A little bit from my reading today...
from "The Hauerwas Reader" P.133,
"(Disciples) are to make a radical break with security and possessions, with the customs and habits of everyday life, for no other purpose than to share in his ministry of preaching the repentance needed to become part of the kingdom.... Discipleship is quite simply extended training in being dispossessed. To become followers of Jesus means that we must, like him, be dispossessed of all that we think gives us power over our own lives and the lives of others. Unless we learn to relinquish our presumption that we can ensure the significance of our lives, we are not capable of the peace of God's kingdom."
"...the cross is Jesus' ultimate dispossession through which God has conquered the powers of this world. The cross is not just a symbol of God's kingdom, it is that kingdom come. It is only by God's grace that we are enabled to accept the invitation to be part of that kingdom. Be cause we have confidence that God has raised this crucified man, we believe that forgiveness and love are alternatives to the coercion the world thinks necessary for existence."

Friends of mine, my wife, and I have recently been talking about life being too busy and too complicated at times. If you visit here regularly, it is obvious that Joel and I are each victims of a life that is currently too busy; we simply are not posting blogs. While this may not rank high on our list of priorities, the start of the school year and church education programs have made us too busy.

My three year old plays with her telephone, and she answers with, "Hi! Fine. Busy." She must have heard those words too many times over the past three years. So, how are we going to learn to follow God when our lives are so busy that we don't seem to have time? I am not sure that I have the answer. I think we need to really struggle with this question. I am contemplating resigning from the board of an organization that I really believe is making a difference in the lives of many people. I believe that I contribute to the direction of the organization, but the words of my three year old are almost haunting me.

In addition, last night I did not sleep well. It was one of those incredibly restless nights when you feel like you didn't sleep more than a few minutes. As I was attempting to sleep, my mind kept going to the phrase, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be granted unto you." I have no idea why my mind found these few words in the midst of sleeplessness. Yet, it was that "seek ye first the kingdom of God" part that bounced around my head for the night. Perhaps "fine," "busy," and "seek first the kingdom of God" are words that can't really go together? I don't know...

I am increasingly sensing tension between myself and ideas such as 'leading' and 'vision.' While the later two subjects are getting so much attention these days, all of us continue to put so much emphasis on these two ideas. We don't want to get distracted from our vision, and we want to be known as a leader(s). Yet, we also claim that relationships are our first priority. IF relationships are our first priority, should we not be willing to have OUR vision derailed (or at least re-routed) as God brings new and different people into our lives? Are relationships that God brings to us really our top priority? Or is our vision still what drives us? ... give it some thought...

I sat at the Bean Tree Bistro with my friend John today. We talked about what "pastoring" is supposed to look like. Among the things we came up with, we thought that it should involve true spiritual friendships (which require significant amounts of time with a few people), an unhurried life (to which you may refer to Eugene Peterson's "The Contemplative Pastor"), and the idea of pastors having pastors (are we not also sheep?).

I referred to some ideas I wrote for a leadership workshop I did with some of my favorite people in the world (my family at the Ancona Church of Christ, Ancona, IL), called Leading Like Jesus. You can check that out if you like to get a sense of some more of what John and I talked about. I would write more here, but I'm too lazy right now.

What do most churches expect of the people in their communities? Is it being unfair to suggest that the expectations are usually and woefully inadequate? From my experience, most churches expect four things:
1) to give uncritical mental assent to a certain list of doctrinal statements.
2) to attend the big events of the group on a regular basis, and to be involved in some kind of volunteer service.
3) to be nice and polite when among other members of the group.
4) to give a certain percentage of one's income.

There is little, if any, practical expectation for spiritual transformation. We will allow people to remain spiritually unformed as long as they agree with our ideas, show up to our programs, act friendly while they are there, and contribute to the church budget. This may create nice, polite (at least publicly) volunteers, but it does little to create spiritually (trans)formed apprentices of Jesus. This is simply unacceptable, and cannot continue to be perpetuated.

If we are to create true communities of apprentices to Jesus, we MUST be about more than agreeing, attending, politeness, and 'tithing'. I don't think those things are even compelling to people who we identify as 'lost.' We must be about something that is fundamentally different than that which has passed for the Christian life in America. We must take Jesus seriously when he talks about life in the kingdom of God. We must start placing our confidence in him--really--and begin to really do the things he taught and modeled. And it is almost embarrassing to have to say that it is more than what we have accepted for so long in the church.

These are a few of my proposals.
1) We will place a greater emphasis on right living as an expression of one's actual beliefs.
2) We will place a higher emphasis on true community in whatever form it really occurs.
3) We will be people who are increasingly reflecting the character of Christ, rather than merely being nice and polite. We will increasingly become people of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, humility, self-control, forgiveness, and mercy.
4) We will give, not first and foremost to programming budgets and buildings, but so that no one will be in need.

Surely, more will be involved than these, but I suggest these as an alternative to what has passed for 'the Christian life'.

It is only when we become fundamentally different that we will begin to present a compelling alternative way of life to the people around us.

We had a really good experience with our water's edge group tonight. We had some sharing about our lives, some really good worship, a great teaching piece by Joel, some meaningful prayer, and communion led by David Van Huisen. It was really good...

...but the best moment came when we are passing the bread and juice around and my three year old (almost) gets in my face. She says, "Daddy, I want some bread." ... and she kept saying it. So, finally I try to tell her a little bit of what it means, and she still wants some. So, unsure about the "religious" protocal of a three year old taking part in the Lord's Supper, we go to the table. She takes a very little (very little) piece of bread and dips it in the juice. She proceeds to place it on her tongue, quickly realizes it is a strange feeling, gives it back to me, and again takes it from me and eats it when we get back to our place on the floor. As she ate the little morsal, she was overcome with self-consciousness. Why? I have no idea. But I do know that she was not denied the bread that she wanted. Perhaps we need to consider? How often do we deny the bread of life to people because the are not "just right" for a million reasons... including being too young, too sinful, too dirty, too...

... did I mention the beautiful sunset I experienced driving home tonight? I ate at the table, and I am full!

Jason Evans' blog on August 17, 2002 spurred something I've been realizing recently: I do some really stupid things sometimes...okay, alot of times. Like starting projects for myself before I finish others. That stuff I blogged the other day about my four big projects...don't be impressed, please. It's stupid. Really, I have been getting myself into way too much lately, and it is wearing me down in a major way.

Why am I doing all of this stuff? I could tell you the story of my twin who died before we were born and give you some idea that I am trying to live for two people, but that is just plain kooky. The truth is that I am a people pleaser. (Is my honesty impressing you? Good.) I don't like people to be disappointed in me. (You're not mad at me for being honest like this are you?) It's not my dad's fault or my mom's. They never put any pressure on me to earn their love. So why do I feel like I have to do all this stuff? Well, frankly, I think it is because there are six billion people who don't know how great I am. (For those of you who haven't got what I'm doing here yet, this is called "Brutal Honesty").

There, I wrote it. That is the sad state of my heart. Believe me, I am seriously insecure at times. Why do I want to be admired by everyone I meet? I think it is because too often, I am living according to an alternate story rather than the one I know I should have more confidence in.

The story I am increasingly learning to live by goes like this: "You can live your whole life without recognition and still be complete because you are the beloved of God. You will begin to truly live when you lose sight of yourself because you are captivated by the beauty of God and the beauty in each person that bears God's image...when you love other people enough to say, 'No'...when you love other people enough to say, 'I need your help'...when you love God enough to say, 'Not my will, but Yours be done'...when God's life breaks into your heart in such a way that the death that works within you no longer has space in which to operate...when fear, anger, greed, lust, malice, rudeness, and violence no longer have claim to who you are."

It is strange how, when you try to simplify your life, you can miss the point and just say "Yes" to too many good things. I am learning what it means to say "Yes" to One. That is the heart of simplifying my life...saying "Yes" to One. The rest should be an expression of that "Yes".

So here is what I will be using (more or less) tomorrow night... click here to read it.

If that's too much work for you, here's an excerpt...
"I think one of the biggest keys to “going beyond the goodness of the scribes and Pharisees” is to engage with other people in creative, selfless, and love-filled ways.

"If a person has a particular problem with improper thoughts toward a co-worker of the opposite sex, it will not accomplish anything by quitting the job. In some cases, it may certainly be necessary, but there is a deeper issue than mere social proximity. There is something wrong with that person’s soul.

"There are those in the history of the church who went through their lives taking great effort to never look at a woman—even their own mothers and sisters. But such things do nothing to eliminate the wickedness in one’s heart…only the opportunity to act.

"We must, therefore, change the way we see people and relate to them.

"For us to have the goodness of the kingdom heart means that we look at the people around us, especially strangers and even the images of people we see, not as objects to be used in some way for our ‘fulfillment’, but as human beings...as image bearers of God."

I can't juggle, but I do have several projects that I am working on.
1) a book review of N.T. Wright's "Jesus and the Kingdom of God" for the Pneuma Review (a theological quarterly jounal edited by my friends Mike and Raul).
2) an article on the main body of Todd Hunter's presentations "A Tale of Two Gospels" and "Calling, Mission And Gifts:
How They Integrate In A Disciple’s Life"
3) a curriculum for Christlikeness. (really...well, at least a start of one. So I'm taking Dallas Willard seriously...oh yeah, and Jesus too). Really what I'm working on is putting together an intentional approach to apprenticeship in the area of silence and solitude for Mike, Travis, and myself. Of course, it will be available to anyone...
4) a seminar based stuff from on Wright's "Jesus and the Kingdom of God," "The Challenge of Jesus," "What Saint Paul Really Said," and Todd Hunter's "Tale of Two Gospels." Too ambitious? okay, maybe it is...but I'm willing to be accused of that.

I'll post what I will be talking about tomorrow night. When? Um, tonight or tomorrow night.

I have some other thoughts to write down, but my projects are calling...or is that my alarm clock?

Oh, man...I messed that post up completely... I can't even edit it!

Here's another try...


click on the banner to go to my version of Jason's page. It's only cosmetically different from the real thing. I hope Jason doesn't mind...

Okay, so it's been a while...My life has suddenly become very hurried and I need time to rest. I haven't even had time to think and write, but I have had time to blog...it's just that I have come to think that eevery time I blog it has to be some great thought or something. Well, no more. I will continue to blog...even about the simple.

Speaking of simple...here's a little ad for a gathering Randy and I are helping Jason Evans from Matthew's House put on.

Monday, July 29, 2002

So I was driving to a church board meeting tonight, and I was noticing a great deal of anxiety and not a little anger in my heart. I didn't want those things to be a part of who I am, so I began a little breathing prayer exercise. Here is basically how it developed for me...

I notice anger and contempt in my heart. So as I exhale I ask God to sweep those attitudes and thoughts from my heart.
I breathe out...anger, contempt, destructive thoughts.

Now as I breathe in, I invite God to replace those with His reality of peace and gentleness toward all.
I breathe in...love, forgiveness, gentleness, creative thoughts.

I notice other destructive thoughts dwelling there...So I exhale...rage, malice, anxiety, fear.

Then I inhale...peace, goodness, humility, purity.

A woman in the car ahead of me is driving too slow...I recognize my impatience...I exhale impatience, hurry, pride.

I inhale...patience, trust, God's presence.

I continue this exercise until I notice that I am exhaling 'toxic fumes.' So I imagine myself becoming so filled with 'good air' that I begin to breathe out the goodness I have inhaled.

I exhale onto the world around me...peace, gentleness, kindness...desiring the good of each person I see.

I inhale from the Father His goodness, love, patience, humility, trust...and exhale these things. I imagine myself in possible situations where I may meet those with whom I am not at peace...I exhale on them peace, patience, goodness.

And so on for the entire twenty minute drive...inhale...exhale...all a prayer to God inviting Him to overtake my heart.

Guess what? It worked...each time I began to sense anxiety or malicious thoughts, I would begin the exercise, sincerely asking God to change who I am...to make me into the kind of person who is not overcome by anger or anxiety or any number of destructive thoughts...to make me into the kind of person who is so hyperventilated by grace that all I exhale is grace.

It was one way I found to practice "off-the-spot."

This coming weekend I am supposed to be doing a seminar in Ft. Collins, CO for youth leaders... we are going to be talking about "absolute truth." I have been bouncing this concept around in my brain for a while now. If truth is embodied in Christ, and if we understand truth as we increasingly live in God's story, how can we expect the world to follow the same belief system? But, that is nothing new to this conversation... here is my premise... and probably others as well... the more the evangelical church has tried to create a black & white world of right & wrong, the more the church has alientated the culture.

Why do we prefer the easy and clean answers of "right" or "wrong"? Yet, it was Jesus who lived in the world of sinners. It was Jesus that was asked tough questions, but he returns the questions with other questions. It was Jesus who seems to live in a world of complex reality. I am thinking that if the church would be willing to struggle with the real issues of life, perhaps it would also more clearly bear witness to the reality of our risen Christ.

One more post before I go to work...if you haven't realized it yet, I am trying to install the talkback feature--thanks to the chaps @ enetation.

Two blogs I've just come across this morning...Stephen Shields and David Hopkins. Really good stuff.

Also, Randy and I are working with Jason Evans from Matthew's House on doing some really cool stuff for Soularize in October. Please be praying for us, and think about coming along...

Recently I have been playing with some on-line friends at a forum created by Jason Evans. The topic - "what is church." Some pretty incredible people having fun playing together... including James Ferrenberg, Charlie Wear, Laura Ogle, Steve Lewis, Alan Creech, and a few others who currently slip my mind (sorry guys). Check out the dialogue at the Matthew's House website!

Last night we did some more stations stuff. For those of you who are interested, here's what we did...

Station 1 :: Salt (We had some sea salt in a little bowl on a table)
We had pieces of paper that read:
“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.”
1) Read the Scripture.
2) Take a grain of salt and place it on your tongue.
3) As you meditate on the Scripture, invite the Spirit of God to speak directly to you and expose the places where your life has become tasteless.
4) Invite the Spirit of God to show you where you may be a cleansing, preserving, and flavoring presence in the places and times in which you live.


Station 2 :: City (we had some images of cities at night running in a loop on Randy's laptop)
We had pieces of paper that read:
"A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
1) Read the Scripture
2) Watch the images on the screen.
3) Invite the Spirit of God to point out the areas of your life where you have been trying to hide the light of life.
4) Where have you been resisting the call of God to release the rule and reign of your life to Him?
5) Invite God to shine His light into your heart and mind.
6) Now see yourself as a city on a hill, fully illumined by the light of Life, reflecting the light of God to the people you will see this week.
7) Imagine yourself shining the light of Christ’s love and peace and joy onto the lives of three specific people.


Station 3 :: Candle (We had three pillar candles on a stand in the middle of a room. Ideally it was to be a dark room, but the sun hadn't gone down yet, so it was not as effective in a sunlit room.)
We had pieces of paper that read:
"You are the light of the world.”
1) Read the Scripture
2) Watch the dancing flame of the candle and its effects on the whole room.
3) Consider how the light easily and naturally eliminates darkness by its simple presence.
4) Invite the Spirit of God to speak directly to you through these Scriptures to show you how your life may be the kind of life that easily and naturally eliminates darkness by your simple presence.


Station 4 :: Candles (We had 24 tea-lights on a coffee table in the center of our gathering space.)
We had pieces of paper that read:
"Think of one or two people who need the light of Christ’s love and peace and joy in their lives (one of them may be you).
Light one of the candles as you pray:
Father of light, in whom there is no darkness,
Shine the light of Christ’s love and peace and joy into __________’s heart and mind. Amen.

Then we asked everyone to remain in silent contemplation until everyone had completed the exercise.

"You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world--like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."
Matthew 5:13-16

One thing I have been increasingly trying to do when I read a passage from the Scriptures is to look at how the passage reads my life. Rather than standing over the passage, observing it like a detached laboratory technician, I try to place myself beneath the text, and invite the Spirit of God to point out where my life is outside of God’s story. So I did this with this passage.

How does this passage read me? One way it reads me is that it points out that often, I mistakenly think that the Kingdom of God is revealed primarily in doing great works and being well-known by people.

Our culture has held up different models as 'more' significant, or 'more' respectable than others. From our scholastic past, we came to hold up great lecturers as the more spectacular expressions of the kingdom of God.

Others held up people, primarily men, who were effective motivators. If a person could get people to weep and dance and shake and run up to the altar at the end, THAT was what a person should aspire to become.

More recently, we have looked to effective 'leaders', the CEO and the mega church pastors have become the symbol for success. We protect ourselves from making them into idols by talking about the priesthood of all believers, but we still picture these people as perhaps 'more' loved or 'more gifted' by God.

So I have been tempted. I have been tempted to aspire to that 'great leader' type. I have been fooled into thinking that that is the only legitimate expression of the kingdom. To be seen, respected, inquired of, and admired--these are appealing things that come along with being 'the man.'

But what happens when I realize that I am not that kind of leader. "Learn to lead like that." I'm told. "God is going to use you in great ways" I'm told--I always assumed they were talking about having a big church with lots of people listening to what I have to say.

But maybe Jesus was saying that what you assume it means to be salt and light (flash, spectacle, significance, relevance, influence, etc.)--maybe Jesus is saying that these things are all wrong ideas about being his apprentice.

This passage reads me in a way that exposes my assumptions about what it takes to be salt and light. Maybe it is not in the ways that I have always assumed...being 'up front', leading, being the Bible answer man. Maybe it is in the ordinary, unseen things that I overlook and neglect each day.

Maybe it is in the simple ways of being a sign of peace.

Maybe it is in the simple obedience that I embody as I set my life apart to God.

Maybe it is the simple actions that flow out of an undiluted confidence in Jesus.

Maybe it is in the simple acts of kindness and goodness that communicate the compassion of God more than my mere words can say alone.

If Jesus was looking at a crowd of ordinary, uneducated, overlooked people, then maybe he was announcing that it doesn't take a title to be the people of God. Maybe he was announcing that it doesn't take accreditation to be salt and light.

Some of us don't feel qualified to see ourselves as pastors and missionaries. But that may be precisely Jesus’ point.

Now that all of us unqualified people have been given the invitation to receive and enter into the kingdom, and now that we have (for those of us who have), what are we doing about it? We like to talk about it, but what are we really doing about it?

And that’s the rub, isn’t it? I wonder sometimes whether it is something that I really want. I mean, I guess I know I really want that—or at the very least I want to want it--and that is significant as a beginning. But I feel, to an extent, that I am spending too much time in the realm of abstract ideas and I need to move out into more specific application of all this stuff.

I am becoming increasingly convinced that what the church needs is not more people with seminary degrees, but more people who see their 'ordinary lives' as something more than 'ordinary.' We need more people to stop allowing our witness to be diluted either by superficial and hollow displays of religiosity, or by self-indulgent compromise in the name of 'freedom.'

I am becoming increasingly convinced that what we need is people who understand that life in the kingdom of God is extra-ordinary. Not in the sense of being spectacular, but in the sense of being able to see the power of God in simple demonstrations of love and peace and joy--the simple acts that we neglect precisely because we see them as ordinary or unspectacular.

So Jesus interprets that act of a poor widow who gave a small amount as a great gift, and the large donation of the wealthy man as such a small thing. And he says other things like the first will be last and the last will be first.

These people who place their confidence in Jesus will be, like salt, a sign of peace and love for strangers; like salt, a people who set themselves apart for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. And like light, these people will be a sign of God’s incredible, supernatural love. They will not let their saltiness dissolve, and they will not hide their light beneath a bucket.

As the ruling and reigning of God is a reality in their lives, they will not be able to prevent others from seeing the kingdom of God among them. They will see our deeds of goodness--our expressions of the goodness of God--and praise our Father in the heavens.